This scene is so fucked up. Like, not even the choking or the batshit chairtossing, just the way he emotionally responds to Asuka in general.
Shinji is NOT emotionally equipped to bond with people. The abandonment issues with his father, emotional trauma, depression, and misanthropy are all mushed together in this awful mess of wanting someone to connect with him so he has no way of failing, but not wanting someone in his space. Wanting friends and family, but not wanting any sort of negative emotions clouding these relationships. Wants someone to support him and his truckload of issues, but having the person have easily conquerable obstacles for him to help with in turn.
Kaworu was a precision Shinji-bomb; appearing at the exact time Shinji needed him, giving Shinji the exact sort of emotional response he wanted, giving Shinji clear signals so that Shinji feels he can reach across the bridge between them without any risk of failing and screwing the relationship up. Weird, preternatural good-naturedness; Kaworu just isn’t the sort of person to take his negative feelings out on Shinji, which is appealing. Kaworu didn’t HAVE any problems; he’s just cool and gay. Cool gay guy in love with Shinji. The entire purpose of Kaworu was to outline what Shinji wants.
And here, in this scene, Asuka is the exact opposite of what Shinji wants. She refuses to connect. She takes her bad mood out on him. She shuts off his attempts to connect with her. She outlines everything Shinji is scared of and compounds his anxieties even more. Her problems are MASSIVE, way more severe than Shinji’s, and he can’t do anything to help with it, especially in such a weak emotional state. Shinji’s reaction is a glorious movement of fulfilment to the horrible, quiet pain of the last handful of episodes.
The ending was super confusing and needs a manual to keep the canon straight but WOW this really paid the character arc off. 10/10